My post title sounds ominous, doesn’t it? Let me just say that I love having triplets. It is so fun, and I am honored to be the mother of these three beautiful children. I think I probably laugh three times as much as the average mom, and three times as hard. I have a perspective on motherhood that most people will never know, and I get to see and experience things as a mom that most people never will- but then, there is a flip side to this that really gets to me sometimes, and that is the fact that there is a “normal” side to motherhood that I will never know.
I have recently started taking my kids, individually, to the library. Getting to spend individual time with my kids is such an amazing experience for me, yet I can count the times I have been able to do it on one hand. I feel like I am getting to know each one of them a little better each time we spend time alone. Being able to interact with, and focus on just one child at a time is simply priceless . It’s something that most moms do on a regular basis, (and undoubtedly take for granted), yet I have to schedule the time a week in advance, and if I am lucky I can get in an hour before I have to be home. I vividly remember how much I enjoyed spending one on one time with my parents, and I want each of my children to know that feeling; that they are special, and deserving of my undivided attention.
On my days off I frequently find myself the sole caregiver for my kids, so I have to carefully plan what we will do or where we will go. If I don’t have an extra set of hands, most places are ruled out- and this is the part that bothers me the most. I want my kids to experience everything that other kids get to experience, but there are so many things that we just cannot do. Swimming pools and parks are what the kids love the most, but I just can’t do it safely as the only adult. Birthday invitations have to be turned down unless I have enough help. I love it when people invite us to parties and say “Bring the kids! There will be plenty of people to help!” As moms of multiples, we know that these well-meaning people have no idea what “help” entails when three 2 year olds are involved. There is a helpless feeling that I get when there’s something I want to do with my kids, but I just can’t- and I do not like to feel helpless. When I’m done feeling helpless, I move on to feeling selfish for being frustrated over such a thing- I should really just be grateful that I have 3 healthy, happy triplets. I am grateful.